How I Deal With Fussy Eaters (of all ages)

• I always like to see people’s variations on cauliflower mash – this sounds good to me. Was the Jeffrey Steingarten book you mentioned the one that your playgroup friend had suggested, or is that a different book? I’m interested. Actually, our daughter is a good eater overall and is not too squeamish about trying new things, but I would love to know how to feel less stressed about whether people in general will like my food or not. :)

  • The playgroup book was a different one Sandra.. Will get the name from my friend for you. And for being stressed I think practice will help! Jx

• I have an adult friend (45 years old) that is a picky eater. He will only eat pizza, wings, steak, lasagna, hamburgers, and macaroni and cheese. His idea of fruit is canned fruit loaded with sugary syrup. He eats no vegetables whatsoever. That makes no sense to me since I grew up in a home with a substantial garden and every summer we had more fresh vegetables than I could relate here.

  I blame this all on the way he was brought up by his mother. She never disciplined him, I believe he’s slightly retarded and his mother had sympathy for him.

  But her actions ruined a person’s life.

  • Thanks for sharing Tim… Interesting story :)

• As an adult picky eater (I have avoidant food intake disorder focusing mainly on textures), I find it very helpful to have figured out what it is about some foods I dislike. For example: I can’t deal with beans, lentils, peas, etc., because the texture makes me gag and choke. So knowing *why* means I can work with that restriction to sneak legumes in in other ways — a broad bean hummus, or lentils cooked with fine-ground meat in tomato sauce so that they mingle with each other, and my texture problems aren’t set off. It also means I know what good substitutes are likely to be. I don’t try to make myself eat foods I know I won’t like, and I know what foods I _will_ eat. About once a year, I try again. I then fail, but I keep trying!

  That’s my major recommendation for picky eaters, either as cooks or being cooked for: why? What is it about the food that bothers that person?? Is it the smell of it cooking, like with friends of mine who don’t do brassicas? Is it the taste, like fish? Is it the texture, like raw tomatoes or beans? Knowing why means it can be potentially worked around, and helps the cook feel less like it’s a problem they need to solve. It’s not their cooking — it’s the food itself on that person’s senses.

  • Great reminder to ask why Kat.. Thx! And I remember reading somewhere that the majority of food dislikes are based on texture rather than flavour. So interesting reading about your story :)

  • LOVE!!!!!!!!

• Thank you for this post! As a mother of five I can attest to those days/meals where someone is sticking their nose up at something I’ve made! I think your advice is right on the mark in terms of offering something multiple times. I made a recipe one month that my youngest twins hated–and then I made it again and it was their FAVORITE! I also love your advice of not stressing if the child isn’t eating. . .we try to encourage the “one bite rule” but I find not stressing about it works best.

  • Omg Michelle.. 5! You are amazing!

• I am an adult super taster although I have never been tested before by a doctor, just me. I am also a super smeller. While this cauliflower that looks like mashed potatoes looks yummy, I can’t eat cauliflower. This would be well disguised but I can’t stand the smell of it cooking! I do have some texture issues but it’s mostly taste and smell. At first I thought it was an allergy until someone told me their friend had this problem and it wasn’t an allergy, they were a super taster. It hits my tongue and I have to throw up. I’ve learned to live with it. Same with the smell of things. I did what my dentist said and brushed my tongue. Breakfast, and lunch were in the sink and that’s the other way I know. I may not eat cauliflower, and I don’t like broccoli but if you chop it up small and disguise it something (the smell is okay for me) I’ll eat it. I love this package of cheesy broccoli soup that is loaded with tiny chopped up broccoli. I don’t like plain spinach but if it’s in my mom’s homemade chicken soup or I make creamed spinach, it’s yummy! I can’t eat any sweets at all, no cookies, ice cream or muffins unless they aren’t sweet. I love V-8 Vegetable juice and mixed veggies as long as they don’t have lima beans in them. I only like small beans like navy beans. That is a texture thing especially with cannelleni beans and because the small ones are not so much the magical fruit like the bigger ones. I love oranges and orange pineapple juice. For some reason I can eat natural apple sauce but not an apple. I don’t understand it and I am the only one in my family with this problem. I’ve heard that 25% of the population is a super taster. I’m not a fan of hummus or chick peas but making them in the oven with grated cheese so they are crunchy and cheesy and like a snack are great! Kale no I can’t eat that. I have a garden and I plant a lot of veggies that I love and that my family loves too. I wish I was a better eater but my sister claims she is a better eater then I am but she has a weight problem and I don’t.
  I forgot to wish you congrats on the new baby! Where are the pictures of the new baby like the ones of Fergal?

  • Thanks for sharing Gail..
    I used to wish I was a super taster but I think it’s more trouble than good! And thanks I’ve shared a photo with my email subscribers bit need to share some more Finbar! Jx

• Ah, toddlers are tough hey?! My two biggies are fairly good at eating but dinner is definitely the toughest meal.

  I make sure that there’s always something they’ll like on the table. It means I usually serve up some sort of carb because toddlers = made of carbs. ;) Ha ha.

  Some nights they seem to eat very little, but as you saw yesterday they’re not fading away! I find that they eat less as they day goes on. Breakfast is big around these parts and I (well Nick really seeing as he does breakfast) has high fibre and protein. Some days the girls will eat porridge AND egg and toast. I make sure they have a good protein for lunch too seeing as they’ll generally eat none of the dinner protein I serve up.

  I know this won’t work for you guys seeing as you eat separately, but I also find the girls eat a lot more if we’re all sitting together. These days we tend to have three meals at the same time otherwise they both stuff around and run off to play before they actually eat anything.

  I sometimes think it’s not so much fussiness as a general inability to sit still and concentrate on the act of eating.

  Bah! xx

  • Yes toddlers are tough! Thx for sharing what works for you Linda.. Jx

• Jules, I have just finished reading a book devoted to French methods of cultivating a taste for different kinds of food. A very interesting one – “Bringing Up Bebe” by Pamela Drukerman. The main idea of the book is that French children are very patient during meals and eat the same food as their parents and grown-ups do. And they are taught not to be capricious as far as eating is concerned. And the author (a woman from the USA) tells the readers how the French manage to achieve it. It is all in the French meal culture. A wonderful and simple technique. I do recommend it for reading. ))

  • Thanks Tanya! I read her first book and loved it Jx

• I’ve been trying to follow this rule, but some nights I can’t help but try to make her eat one tiny bite of each veggie/meat that she’s eaten before and liked or no story. I’ve found if she’s left her dinner, she sometimes lets me feed it to her while she’s in the tub. She was a great eater until we did an elimination diet to find out which foods were causing her horrible reflux. Now even safe foods get rejected. Dinner here is plain sticky rice, pearl couscous or fresh egg pasta. But there’s always 2-3 veggies or meat on the plate.

  • Tough one Shelley.. I’d be a little wary of feeding in the bath though… But that’s just me.. I’m a strong believer in only eating at the table or kitchen bench.

• So true. So frustrating going through a full day of cooking and getting nothing but yucks at the table. Thanks for the tips, I will have to try these out.

  • Welcome Ian!

• Woah cool video! What program did you use?

  • Just imovie

• A rule that helped me was to require the child to eat as many as his years. For instance, he doesn’t like peas and is two years old. He must eat two peas. That helped us both. He knew there was a limit. He didn’t have to eat a whole pile. Interesting comments here! It helps me to understand people. Having a childhood of being required to eat some of everything on the table and being served a wide variety of foods has helped me to enjoy almost any food. But maybe that wouldn’t have helped another person. I enjoy your food posts! Feeding 5 sons and hubby daily on a low grain, sugar free diet is challenging. Thankfully they aren’t picky for the most part. We all have high metabolisms and are tall and thin. That means lots of food!

  • Great idea Marie! 5 sons wowsers.. That must be a lot of food.. Jx

• I wonder if it would make any difference if you ate with Fergal. It sounds like you feed him first so he must be eating alone.. Maybe if you ate with him for a while it would set a good example that food is yummy, not just this scary stuff on his plate that no one else is eating.

  • You’re right Diane he eats most dinners alone but I have breakfast and lunch with him so it’s not all his meals.. And as soon as we can we’ll eat dinner as a family :)

• A friend told me this once, which helps me — that it’s a balanced diet over a period of a week or two. So I don’t worry if they eat lots of one food one day but not the another because I know we give them healthy things and it’ll work out well enough over a short time period.

  We have a rule to taste everything and that seems to work for our boys. With our 8 year old, he’s learned to be willing to try things and I’m often surprised that he likes things I would not expect him to like.

  I also keep re-offering things, especially with our second boy. With our older one, I was too quick to give up on offering him things if he rejected them early. I’m also making a point to give our second son more of the “weird” things I eat now (green smoothies, small tastes of salads, etc.). He seems to like it and I can’t help thinking it’ll help him be more open to trying things later on.

  I *hate* putting kids to bed if I am hungry (way too stressful) so we just eat early all together. And we pretty much go to bed right after they do anyway! I feel like it’s nice to eat together.

  I’m going to try your rice in the freezer strategy.

  • Great tips! Thx Jenna :)

• I’m going to try the mashed cauli tonight. Also trying to plan at least a few meals each week. Your blog is helping me get on track. Thanks Jules~

• I tried the Cheesey Cauli Mash last month. I steamed the cauli then mashed with butter and cheese. It was bland so I added more salt and pepper. It was still bland so I added more cheese and butter. Still bland. More salt and pepper. I didn’t eat it all and the next day I warmed it up and added the rest of the cheese and more salt, pepper and butter. I have another cauliflower and will try again with a stronger flavor of cheese and more salt and pepper and butter. Maybe I’ll add some turmeric and/or paprika as well. I like cauliflower, I eat it raw as well as cooked.

  • More cheese or salt will help Gina.. And make sure it’s well drained after cooking so you don’t get it too watery

• My older grandson was so picky that we used to tease him: “You don’t like *anything*!” although that wasn’t totally true. But he is six now, and has outgrown the worst of it – he even insisted on ordering fresh sardines in a restaurant, although his mother said he couldn’t possibly know that he liked them as she didn’t, and wouldn’t have served them! He ate the lot! Younger brother is a bit of a foodie, and loves to cook, which helps.

  • I love sardines Annabel – your grandson has excellent taste!

• I so love this cauliflower!!! I’ve made it a several times. Last night I added broccoli!!!! So yummo!!!! I think I will also try adding rice to it. So many options! Thank you Jules!!!!

  • Glad you’re enjoying Melissa!

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