When my friend Darya Rose sent me an article that answered the question “why do I keep losing and regaining the same weight?”, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
It was written by Michael Graziano – a professor of psychology at Princeton University.
He’d found himself overweight. And he had a theory.
He thought there was more to losing weight than just eating less. He thought hunger had a psychological side.
So he tested it on himself.
He stopped restricting. He made sure he felt satisfied at every meal.
Eight months later he was 50 pounds lighter.
And he said it was one of the easiest things he’d ever done.
The hunger that lives in your brain, not your stomach
Graziano goes into a lot of detail about exactly which part of the brain is involved.
We don’t need to know that.
What we do need to know is simple.
Hunger isn’t only physical. There’s a mental part to it as well.
Your body can have had enough… and your brain can still be hungry.
That’s psychological hunger.
Saying it’s “all in your head” isn’t an insult. It’s real hunger. It’s just coming from a different place.
The “just eat less” trap
Telling yourself “I’m just going to eat less” sounds sensible.
But it’s a trap. It backfires.
Restriction increases our desire for food. It turns up the psychological hunger.
That’s why you can stick to a diet for a few weeks. Maybe a few months if you’re lucky.
But it never lasts.
And that’s why so many of us lose and regain the same weight. The diet never dealt with the mental side of hunger.
Graziano makes a point I really like.
Yes, if you take in fewer calories, you lose weight. That still holds true.
But if you explicitly try to cut calories, you’ll end up doing the exact opposite.
What to do instead
When I work with people, we look at all the parts of hunger. Physical and mental.
But one of the biggest things I help people do is turn off the psychological hunger.
For some people that takes a bit of time. Especially if you’ve got a long history of dieting.
But you will get there.
How I identify psychological hunger
For me, it’s an urge for more and more.
My brain knows I’ve had a reasonable amount of food. But some part of me isn’t satisfied. I want to keep going.
Here’s what I look for:
- It’s about volume. Quantity. “I just want more food.”
- It’s not usually a specific craving. Sometimes it’s donuts. More often it’s just… more.
- It’s not a physical feeling. It’s a desire.
- It shows up after restriction. When I’ve been denying myself or telling myself “I’ll just eat less.”
That last one is a big clue.
Restriction stokes psychological hunger.
How I manage psychological hunger
The secret is simple.
Let yourself feel satisfied at mealtimes.
It’s what Graziano did. It’s what I do. It’s what I help my clients do.
When you eat, aim for that feeling of “I don’t need more food.”
Then move on with your day.
In the beginning you might eat more than you used to. That’s okay.
Over time this turns off the psychological hunger.
And you naturally end up eating less than you did before.
But it doesn’t feel like eating less. Because you’re satisfied.
Avoiding the most common mistake
Once people learn that restriction backfires, they often think “Okay. I don’t want to restrict.”
On the surface that’s a lovely, kind thing to think.
But if you’re not careful, you swing too far the other way. Into being too permissive.
Someone once said to me, “I don’t want to restrict, but here I am having my third croissant.”
So it’s okay to still have some boundaries with yourself.
It’s okay to say, “No, we don’t need a third croissant.”
The middle ground looks like this:
Feel satisfied at meals.
Keep a few gentle boundaries.
Together, they help you handle all the different types of hunger.
Want to help to implement this idea?
Then check out my free class, The Secret to Eating What You Want and Feeling Good in Your Clothes.
It’s for finding peace with food and weight, even in middle age.
And even if your belief in yourself is low after trying so many times.
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My Best Bite
Yesterday I made a lamb curry in the slow cooker.
I used a combo of diced lamb and ground beef. The lamb gives you those lovely chunks. The beef adds extra flavour.
I had mine with a shaved fennel salad and some chunks of tofu for extra protein.
The boys had theirs with rice and garlic naan.
So delicious.
And such a good reminder of how good the slow cooker is. I was out all day. I came home and dinner was practically ready.
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I’m Excited About
My friend Courtney Carver from Be More With Less told me about a habit she’s been trying.
She carries a little notebook around and writes down things she notices.
It’s a practice to help you be more present. And enjoy your life more.
So now I have my own little notebook.
When I notice something, I write it down. It gives you a little pause.
At the end of the day I read back through everything. It’s like a little check in. And it makes the day feel really great.
This morning, walking out to my studio, I passed my bay tree. It’s flowering because it’s spring. And there was a swarm of native bees all over it.
Our Australian native bees don’t make honey. But they’re really good pollinators. They’re much smaller than European bees. And so cute.
Grab a notebook, or even just a piece of paper and a pen. See what you notice and how good it feels.
In your corner,
Jules from Stonesoup xx
(Your favourite Australian Food Scientist)
See my bio
ps. Can I ask a favour?
If you’ve found this helpful please forward the link to a friend who also loves food. Thank you!
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