As Ive been simplifying my life one of the most powerful concepts is the idea that it’s what we stop doing that can help us even more than what we add in. So this week I’m sharing 21 things I didn’t do to reach my ideal weight in my 40s- many of which go against the grain of conventional weight loss strategies.
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Video Version
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As I’ve been simplifying my life over the years, one of the most powerful concepts I’ve discovered is that what we stop doing can help us even more than what we add in.
Today, I’m sharing 21 things I didn’t do to reach my ideal weight in my forties and maintain it in my fifties – many of which go completely against the grain of conventional weight loss strategies.
If you only take one thing from this post, let it be the first one.
1. I Don’t Feel Shame or Guilt for Anything I Ate
This is probably the most helpful change I made.
I decided a long time ago that there are no bad foods. When I overeat (and I still do), I remind myself that this is part of our programming as humans. The wiring that drives us to overeat when food is abundant has kept us alive for thousands of years.
The fact that we have this drive doesn’t make us bad people. So when I overeat now, I might have a little laugh with myself – “Oh, why did I do that?” – but there’s no shame or guilt. It’s simply another lesson about how overeating doesn’t feel good, without making myself feel bad about it.
Remember: You’re human. We were designed to overeat in times of abundance. It kept us alive. Nothing’s gone wrong here. This is just part of your wiring – it’s simply not as helpful in our modern life.
And that’s okay.
2. I Didn’t Give Up Any Foods I Love
There’s space for all different types of food in your life. It’s not so much what we’re eating that causes us to struggle with our weight – it’s how much.
You can have potato chips. You can have cookies. It’s just about how much you’re having in the context of your whole day that determines whether it affects your weight or not. There’s no need to give up anything to be at a healthy weight.
3. I Don’t Moralize Food
No seeing food as “good” or “bad” – food is just food. Some foods provide more nutrition. Some foods just provide taste. Some foods provide nostalgia or comfort. All of these are valid.
If something only provides comfort, that doesn’t make it bad. We just want to be mindful of how much we’re having in the context of our entire day.
4. I Don’t Let Others Dictate What I Should Eat
I don’t tell anyone in the Naturally Healthy Club what they should be eating, and I don’t look to outside sources to dictate what I should eat either. Instead, I trust my body and listen to what feels good to me. I eat more of the things that feel good when I eat them, and less of the stuff that doesn’t.
5. I Didn’t Really Change What I Was Eating
Generally, what we’re having isn’t the problem – it’s how much. There’s no need to do some crazy overhaul of our diet. We can keep eating the same types of food but focus on reducing the quantity. This helps the weight fall into place, and it’s one less thing to worry about.
6. I Didn’t Exercise for Weight Loss
Exercise is wonderful for many things – mood, strength, mobility, mental health – but weight loss isn’t one of them.
You can’t out-exercise overeating. Our bodies compensate when we increase our movement by either making us hungrier or making us more tired so we move less during the rest of the day.
Separating exercise from weight loss simplifies everything so much. You’re just focusing on the food going in, not trying to balance complex equations of calories in versus calories out.
7. I Don’t Avoid the Scale
Fearing and avoiding the scale isn’t helpful. Instead I like to step on the scale each day without feeling shame or pride. Instead it’s an opportunity to separate my self worth from the number
8. I Don’t Restrict or Leave the Table Hungry
I didn’t try to eat at a calorie deficit or leave the table feeling hungry. Instead, I let myself feel satisfied at mealtimes. This is super important because when we restrict and deny ourselves, it’s miserable, but more importantly, it increases our psychological hunger and causes us to overeat in the future.
9. I Don’t Skip Meals or Do Crazy Fasting
No 36 or 72-hour fasts like I used to do. I listen to the rhythm of eating that feels good to me. For me, that’s lunch, an afternoon snack, and dinner.
I don’t eat breakfast because I’m genuinely not hungry then – not because I’m trying to skip a meal.
When I used to do extreme fasting, it was miserable, and I’d end up overeating to compensate. The weight would come down but go straight back up – a complete waste of time.
10. I’m Not Overly Permissive
While I don’t restrict, I also have boundaries with myself, particularly around sugar and alcohol. I enjoy desserts on Saturday and Sunday nights, but I don’t let myself have dessert every single night. When we’re overly permissive, that can cause problems in its own way.
11. I Don’t Overeat “Healthy” Stuff
I used to think, “Oh, it’s broccoli, it’s good for me, so I can have as much as I want.” But if it’s too much food, it’s too much food – whether it’s broccoli or Twinkies. No free foods, no overeating healthy stuff.
12. I Don’t Eat with Screens or Distractions
Eating in front of a screen makes it harder to get the amount of food right because your brain is distracted. It’s almost like you haven’t eaten.
You know that experience of eating popcorn at the movies and suddenly your hand hits the bottom of the tub, but you don’t feel like you’ve had anything?
Eating without distractions helps you enjoy your food more and makes it easier to check in with your body.
13. No Scarcity Thinking Around Food
No FOMO. No telling myself I’ll be restricting in the future. Instead, I approach food from a beautiful, abundant mindset:
There’s going to be plenty of amazing food in my future, so there’s no need to overeat now. There will be delicious food tomorrow and the next day. This removes that desire to overeat.
14. I Don’t Obsess About Food
No thinking about food all the time or planning detailed menu lists. When it’s mealtime, I think about food. When it’s not mealtime, I don’t. Letting ourselves be satisfied at mealtimes really helps turn off that obsession and that thinking-about-it-all-the-time habit.
15. I Didn’t Expect Rapid Weight Loss
When I started listening to my body, I actually didn’t have any expectations around losing weight. It was a slow, gradual process. Slow is sustainable.
It’s so much more enjoyable to do it this way, and when you know this is the last time you’ll have to lose this weight, it’s really a much nicer approach than putting pressure on ourselves to see the number dropping rapidly.
16. I’m Not Afraid of Failing
Whenever I overeat – and I still do, even after years of listening to my body – I don’t see it as failure. I see it as a reminder that overeating feels uncomfortable.
I actually think it’s helpful to still have those really full days because it creates deep satisfaction, reminding us that food is abundant and we don’t need to overeat.
There’s no failing, only learning. We either get the result we want, or there’s something to learn, and we can take that lesson forward.
17. No Comparing and Despairing
I was just on my own journey. I wasn’t comparing myself to other people or seeing how fast they were going. I was focused on taking care of me and doing the best I could on any given day.
When we see other people, we always assume they’re doing it better than us. Staying in your own lane and focusing on yourself is really helpful.
18. I Don’t Expect Myself to Be Perfect
The thought I have around this is: “I don’t have to do this perfectly.” I’m certainly not perfect with my eating, and I think that’s actually a beautiful way to be.
There are still times when I overeat, and that’s just part of the balance and rhythm of my life.
19. No “Starting Again on Monday”
No starting again next season or tomorrow. I have this mindset that I can choose again in any moment. Just because I’ve started overeating doesn’t mean I need to finish everything on my plate. I can check in: “Do I still really want this?” If I don’t, I can stop.
This is so much more helpful than getting that “what the hell” effect where you think, “Well, I’ve ruined the day, so I’ll just start again on Monday.”
Instead, remind yourself you can choose again any moment. What would feel good now? What choice can I make?
20. I Don’t Clean My Plate All the Time
Generally, I serve myself more than my body actually needs. Breaking up with that clean plate mentality was really helpful. Being willing to either throw food out or put it aside for later is so beneficial.
21. I Didn’t Miss Out on the Comfort of Food
Rather than seeing comforting myself with food as bad, I changed my narrative around it. I give myself permission to use food for comfort, but I’m intentional about it. I serve myself a specific amount and have boundaries around the quantity.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with finding comfort in food. Think about it – that’s how we’re raised from birth. Babies suckle their thumbs. It’s part of our wiring to be soothed by putting things in our mouths. It’s okay to do it; we just want boundaries so we’re not doing it all the time or eating copious amounts.
One habit I’ve developed is drinking tea. Having that hot tea can feel just as comforting as having a cookie.
In your corner,
Jules xx
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