One of my clients in the Naturally Healthy Club posted in the group saying she felt like she sabotaged herself.
She ate really well during the week, then on the weekend she’d overeat and eat “crap.”
It got me thinking about this idea of self-sabotage, and actually, I don’t believe in it.
– – – – – – –
Video Version
– – – – – – –
Why I Don’t Believe in Self-Sabotage
Yes, there are times when we behave in ways that aren’t for our highest good. But here’s why I don’t believe we’re ever really sabotaging ourselves:
We’re always acting in a way that serves us for some purpose. We have different parts of us with different aspirations.
There’s the part that wants to be healthy, feel good in our clothes, and be at our ideal weight.
And there’s also the part that wants to relax on the weekend, enjoy life, and treat ourselves.
It’s Just Conflicting Desires
When we have any behavior that’s giving us a net negative overall, rather than seeing it as sabotage, we can choose to see it as: “Oh, hang on, I’ve got these conflicting desires in me.”
In that circumstance, the part that wants pleasure and relaxation made the decision. That’s what happened.
Rather than seeing it as something wrong with us or that we’re flawed (all humans do this all the time), I like to see it as just a behavior – a habit that I have.
Why “Habit” is More Empowering Than “Sabotage”
When I break it down into just seeing it as a habit, it’s not a character flaw. It feels very empowering because it’s like: “Oh, I’ve got this habit of overindulging on the weekend. I can change my habits!”
Then we feel that sense of empowerment – “I can do something differently with this.”
That’s why I don’t call it sabotage. I just think of it as a bad habit. What can I do to change it? Then I can do experiments and find alternatives.
How to Change These Habits
What I do is break it down habit by habit. Just one habit at a time.
For example, I had this habit of picking at food while I was cooking. By the time dinner was ready, I wasn’t even enjoying it because I’d been eating the whole time.
So I did an experiment:
I’d have a snack of yoghurt and seeds before cooking so I wasn’t actually ravenous.
It worked! The picking was about hunger, and once I addressed that, I could cook without picking and actually enjoy my dinner.
The Power of Small Experiments
By looking at behaviors as habits and then adjusting the habits around whatever behavior you’re not happy about – that’s how we change.
It’s like doing little experiments with ourselves, and it’s really fun. It’s so powerful because we form these new habits that become part of who we are.
We evolve over time to where we are taking good care of ourselves.
Your Next Step
If you want to make self-sabotage a thing of your past, you can just decide to call them bad habits like I do.
Look at one behavior you’re not happy with.
See it as a habit.
Then run a small experiment to change it.
That’s it.
In your corner
Jules xx
(Your favourite Australian Food Scientist)
Ready to decide to make 2026 your year of health?
I’d love you to join us in Joyful Cooking for Natural Vitality.
It’s my six-month coaching program that walks you through my easy, proven process. You’ll learn to cook without recipes while building good food habits and reprogramming bad habits —supporting you to be the healthiest you can be in your body, brain, and gut.
Through gentle repetition over six spacious months, these habits become second nature as you naturally look and feel great for your age.
– – – – – – –
See All Joyful Eating for Menopause Podcast Episodes
– – – – – – –